Strange title for a blog I know, but I feel the need to tell you about my Gran, Adeline Hope.

My Gran had a massive stroke last Thursday, and has been unconscious since.

I have had feelings of immense guilt as I haven’t been to see her in hospital, but a 600 mile round trip combined with me starting a new job on Tuesday mean that what should be the easiest decision in the world is now the hardest decision.

I last saw Gran on her 90th birthday party, and she was delighted to be surrounded by her family, with 4 generations of us there, she was beaming for the whole day, it was beautiful to see.

My brother and I used to spend time during the school holidays with my Gran and we loved playing in the small park by Grans house, going swimming and spending time in Hawick, before having treats of ice cream and orange juice of an evening!

Admittedly, Grans cooking never much appealed to me. You would have thought that preparing a salad would be difficult to get wrong, but my Gran managed just that! To try and mask the flavour of the wrong salad Gran put some Mayonaise on my plate which I eagerly ate, only to nearly vomit on my plate. It turned out that the jar of mayo had been open in the cupboard for over 4 years!

Gran has been put on something called the Liverpool pathway, basically meaning that the medical team will offer her as much anesthesia and medication to keep her from becoming agitated and distressed. She’s fighting, but this is a battle that sadly cannot be won, I just hope the battle doesn’t hurt too much.

Gran, please don’t be angry I haven’t been to see you, I just want to remember the smiling, laughing, beaming 90 year old surrounded by her family.

Love you x